Hi Mum,
I realized today that I haven't written in this blog for awhile. After the last time I wrote I had a really rough few weeks. I had many meltdowns and shed many tears. I think what has happened since then has helped a little bit.
Court went to a medium a few weeks ago with some people from work. She said the woman said you were there immediately. We so badly needed to hear from you and I'm so glad (and hope it was you) that you came forward to talk to her. The stuff this woman knew made me truly believe you must have been there talking to her. I think it helped give us some closure on losing you. You told her that your mom was waiting for you and how happy you were to see her. I'm so glad you are with her again and sometimes I think how excited I will be to see you again (not to sound morbid because I have no intentions of leaving my girls for a very long time). Courtney said she told her that you had a baby with you. She said that is when she completely lost it because this woman knew that I had lost a baby in between the girls and that you were there taking care of him/her. She also said that thing that I think all of us needed to hear the most and that was about how confused dad is. The girls and I all voice our sadness and him and Brian keep it in so much. You did everything for those 2 even more so than us and I truly think they are lost. The girls and I have stepped up as much as we can but we aren't you. We are all trying to deal with your loss in our own way and be there for each other. I still wish and hope that I will wake up from this nightmare soon and see you again.
I miss you and love you!
